Deep Dish - Issue 456

Drag Idol
Tons of drag contests have gone through the Village. After many weeks, three finalists battle it out for the title of Drag Idol at Crews & Tangos. Twenty-five-year veteran Ivory Towers, dressed as Rainbow Brite, gives head to a dildo through a glory hole before being rewarded with a jackpot of Skittles, which pour over her like a slot machine. “I love Rainbow Brite with a passion because her look is so crazy,” she says after. Carlotta pulls out the stops by enlisting the dance skills of a half-naked leather boy with an ass you could serve cake off; new-ish-comer Judy Virago is Ivory’s competition. Judy, the Kesha of the drag set, digs deep, pulling out obscure-ish tracks like Amanda Lepore’s “My Hair Looks Fierce,” while two messy, unshaven gender-bender boys in three-foot Styrofoam wigs do the boppity-bop by her side. But no one is able to topple the Tower. Ivory wins. Skittles for everyone!

Tighty Whitey Carwash
Tons of tighty-whiteys have gone through my underwear drawer over the years. Today I try to score a few more at the annual Tighty Whitey Carwash. It escapes from the alley this year, with all of Church St shut down between Wellesley and College. Are the gods hosting a wet gotchie contest? It rains down like the great flood for more than an hour. By the time it lets up, the street is much quieter, but some still take advantage of patios that have expanded into the streets. We enjoy wings and beer at O’Grady’s before hitting the street and dancing hard in the intersection of Church and Maitland to the beats of DJ Deko-ze. That is, until some past-his-prime hustler stumbles up and attempts to show Donnarama the “snake” in his pants as she strolls by with a stuffed toy reptile of her own, on her way to perform at Woody’s. It’s that kinda day.

Million Dollar Quartet
Tons of musicals have come and gone through our city. The audience at the Toronto Centre for the Arts for the opening of Million Dollar Quartet is older but they still want to rock. Sort of. The musical about the onetime coming together of Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash and Carl Perkins is totally not my genre. The finale, though, is dazzling, with some to-die-for sequined jackets! The wrap party at the Hard Rock Café brings together this crew and the cast of Beauty and the Beast (another Dancap production). In attendance are comedian Jessica Holmes and performance artist Keith Cole. It’s also a thank-you party for Aubrey Dan, who will shut down his company at the end of 2012. Playwright Sky Gilbert wrote a scathing article celebrating this fact. “It’s not the end, it’s a hiatus,” Dan promises. “And I’ve never heard of Sky Gilbert.”

Boy’s Life Reunion
Tons of boys have gone through my life. Tonight I get to reminisce with some of them at the Boy’s Life Reunion party at Chroma. By midnight the room is at capacity. “It feels great!” Steve Ireson says of his return to the club scene. “It’s in my blood, I guess, and I love it.” As a slide show of old photos plays on a side wall, Cory Activate bops centre stage in an amazing illuminated DJ booth created by Kenny Baird. Activate is back in his element, playing big-room dance music in a big room full of gorgeous guys. As Baird’s trademark metallic mannequins, perched high above the bar, keep watch over the dancefloor, Sofonda performs and I scope the scene. All the old-school players are here, including Charles Pavia, Shaun Proulx, Gairy Brown and John Walke. Dancing on the sketch-floor under the dripping sweat of go-go guys are men with wanting looks and drooling lips. I’ve had this feeling. Tons of times.