Pride is a busy social time for many people, not only in bars and on the street, but at home. Guys planning to throw house parties are trying to shake off winter’s sweater-ridden malaise and hide spring’s soggy umbrellas and rubber boots to make home look pretty. Even those not planning parties will probably end up dragging some unsuspecting boy home during the festivities, and that dude is not going to want to see tattered panties on the floor and lube stains on the banisters. What is the solution? The application of intense suction to the floors, tops of cabinets and crevices before any attempt is made to apply a similar suction to a dazed and hapless bit of twinky dragged away from the water-guns, beer gardens and thongs of Church St.
Never fear: the Dyson DC35 Digital Slim is here! Dyson’s first hand-held cordless vacuum makes tidying up between booty calls easier, by providing a quick, easy and powerful way to suck up errant pubes and condoms. Its detachable long-reach wand makes it a pleasure to tidy up the sand-filled corners of any man found at the beach before he is folded up and fondled. And if the boy-hunting expeditions are unlucky, there is always the option of spending some alone-time with the maximum suction and long battery life of the DC35. --Jeremy Willard
To win a Dyson DC35 Digital Slim, send us a high-res photo of you in a pre-Pride crazy cleanup frenzy to email@example.com, with “pre-Pride cleanup” in the subject line.
Deadline for the contest is Friday, June 15 at midnight
The winner will be announced Monday, June 18 on fabmagazine.com.
Entrants must be residents of Toronto (since the winner will have to come pick the damn thing up yourself at our offices, located at 2 Carlton St, Suite 1600)