You may know him as that big, funny bear with the potty mouth and chronic smell of, well, chronic. But after losing more than 100 pounds and devoting himself to good health, comedian Darcy Michael is looking like a new man! In anticipation of his upcoming show, The Gayest Show on Earth at the Gladstone Hotel during Pride, I had a chat with him about his new transformation. And stuff . . .
 
Nick Green: So, over 100 pounds, a gluten-free diet and mini-triathlons. Beating cancer. How boring. Done anything impressive lately?
 
Darcy Michael: I just finished cleaning the litter boxes. Does that count?
 
Just kidding. That sounds intense. Have you gotten used to it yet?
 
It's nuts. I honestly do double takes every time I see a reflection of myself in the mirror. For the first time, I can see a picture of myself and think, Yeah, I'd fuck me. The more weight I lose the gayer I get. I haven't carried a "purse" since I was a teenager, and now I carry one everywhere. I tell people it's my rape kit. But really, it's just holding my knitting.
 
I think knitting is cooler than rape. But then, I am an expert knitter. Making a sweater will only take, like, half as long now!
 
What about rape knitting? Basically, I come to your house and finish your sweater.
 
Comedians tend to carry a certain "brand" or a certain "persona." Has your standup changed as a result of this?
 
My agent was so against me losing weight: "We've spent years building your brand, and the only way it's gonna end is if you drop dead on stage and I can just collect the royalties." She's a gem. The brand has changed a bit, but I'm definitely still a committed stoner . . . errr . . . committed dad? I might be turning into a nelly bottom soon, too. I’m always up for trying something new!
 
It’s good to have goals. Now, you clearly enjoy smoking weed. Did that make it hard to kick the junk food? Did you just replace the Cheetos with carrot sticks?
 
Weed is the Ike Turner of my life. I wanna hate it; I want it gone somedays just because of the munchies. But I keep going back! I UNDERSTAND NOW TINA!
 
So, are you basically just walking around in your underwear all the time now? I know I do that every time I get home from the gym. I say that like it's happened more than once.
 
I'm literally in my underwear right now! How'd you know? Yesterday I did bikram yoga for the first time, and the class was filled with hot guys with amazing bodies. So before yesterday I strutted . . . after yesterday, I sulk. Still a long road ahead, but I'm digging it!
 
Bikram is the worst thing since dill pickle-flavoured chips. Wanna plug your upcoming show a bit?
 
Oh hells, yes! Well first off, people not in the know should go to darcymichael.com and spend $3 on my special! Then on June 26 and 27 they can come to my Pride show: The Gayest Show on Earth! It's a variety show at the Gladstone Hotel featuring standup, music, drag and, more importantly, moi!
 
Seriously. Nice work with the weight loss and beating cancer thing. You look hot.
 
Awww shucks. Thanks, love. You're not looking so bad yourself.
 
Not so bad? I am going to heckle the shit out of you.
 
—Nick Green
 
The Gayest Show on Earth (One Skinny Bitch tour), June 26 & 27, 9pm, Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St W.
$20 advance, $25 door. gladstonehotel.com