’s 2012 Gay Sex Survey results are in and they are, once again, fascinating and fun. This is a snapshot of the sex lives of gay men today, carefully compiled by a crack team of sex experts and fab
writers: Brian Bantugan, Michael Lyons, Drew Rowsomeand Eduardo Sabate. Enjoy.
Illustrations by Jordi Santo
to download the article as it appeared in FAB
Hotter than hell
Asked to describe the hottest sexual experience they’d ever had, respondents wrote of first times, the first time they met their partners, exotic men in exotic locales, threesomes or moresomes, and public sex.
At a bathhouse sucking 11 guys in a row. * Six guys cumming on me while my husband fucked me. * A Stoli-fuelled threesome with a furry couple. * I went to university with twin brothers, both of whom were gay. One night after a few too many, we all ended up in bed together, and they were equally involved with each other as me. In the end one fucked me and then his brother fucked him. I still jerk off to this, or when my hubby is fucking me I think of this. * My hottest experience was on a beach in the Dominican. Behind the guard shack. Then the hotel hall. Then the room . . . * A mutual blowjob when we both came at the same time, then held each other in our mouths until we became hard again and repeated the experience. * A seven-hour sex session with a hot top guy who bottomed for me eventually and gave it up in the sweetest way imaginable. Nothing like topping a top. He was a butch alpha male in all aspects of his life (with his partner, at work, etc), but came to me to be used, abused, etc. He had not been fucked in 20 years when we met and had no interest. Eventually, he was begging to be fucked. I made him wait, playing with and teasing his hole until he was really ready and then fucked him nasty. * Being fucked by my boyfriend while he is being fucked. * Jerking off with a circus tent full of men jerking and fucking. * Just two weeks ago. Mutual oral. We just connected and hooked up. Plain sex, I know, but hot as hell for me. * The best and hottest fuck I've ever had was a guy I dated a couple months ago. He was a tall, muscular and masculine Peruvian guy a couple years older than me with a nine-inch cock and the most perfect bubble butt I've ever seen. I'm a skinny Asian pretty boy, and most of our friends expected that he was the top and I was the bottom, yet, in our relationship, the roles were reversed. It was like a Chihuahua fucking a Doberman. * At a favourite crusing spot where truckers pull off the highway to go into the woods to pee. I was naked and bent over and was used by six different truckers within an hour. * Bareback ATM. * Met a totally sweet and sexy guy in Israel who was a competitive gymnast and a complete sex pig in bed. Spit on my face a whole lot, slapped me around and shoved his cock in my ass and fucked me twice in the same night. Then he kissed me and cuddled with me all night. * I was dressed as a slutty schoolgirl and spit-roasted by two guys. * Being spit-roasted by a tranny and another man while my girlfriend was out shopping. * Getting a double-ended dildo lost inside me. I shot the biggest load ever. * I was in Stockholm, Sweden. My hotel had a sauna in the gym (not co-ed). I went to the sauna one evening and hung out with an incredibly hot and sexy Australian guy. We chatted for a while. We each went out to take separate showers to cool off but came back and continued the coversation. The towels eventually came off, drying off the seat and such, and we both (cautiously) touched ourselves to see if the other would respond. After acknowleding that we were into each other, I went over and straddled him. We made out like crazy as our hard cocks rubbed against each other. I ended up on my back with him sitting on my face. He moaned so loud while I was licking his hole. We made our way out to the showers, got the water running so it was just lukewarm, and he bent me over and fucked me so hard I could barely walk after. This guy was so hot and the fact that anyone could have walked in on us at any time was such a turn-on. I've not done anything like that since, but I jerk off to the memory quite often. (He had a condom in his gym bag — I always play safe.) * The only bottom at an orgy. * A girl gave me her ass to do whatever I wanted with. I ate it, spanked it, fucked it, came all over it and licked my cum off, then kissed her. I want to do all this with a man. * Outdoors. Met a random guy, online, settled on expectations, met in a park, stripped under the lights and was given amazing head and had my ass eaten out for hours. * Jerking off while watching two guys have bareback sex in the sauna. * First time with my ex. Still think about him every day. * Tried a gay bar and let a guy take me home and fuck me. * Threesome in Paris. * Being gangbanged by two hung black guys. * Receiving oral sex from three guys. * Transsexual 69. * Being tied and blindfolded, and then being ass-fucked relentlessly by a huge top who then pissed in my mouth and blew his load up my ass. This was all done in a public washroom at my university by a man I had never met before. * Hot tub and sauna. Hot rooms always get me going. Has to do with the euphoric feeling associated with the amount of heat. Makes me so horny. Fuck my ass anywhere at that point, no questions asked. * Had sex with a dad and his son — separately on different occasions — and neither of them knew the other knew the other was gay. * Hottest day of the summer, from wake-up till nighttime. In my bedroom with my new boyfriend, we did everything and anything we could possibly think of to one another, getting up only to go to the washroom or grab food. Best summer day ever. * Sex in the doorway and facial in the kitchen. * One time my boyfriend had me pinned against a huge window in his apartment, taking me from behind. I could see people walking on the street below, and even though I knew they couldn't see me, the thought still excited me. * Met this guy on a trip in BC. Went up to his hotel room late at night and sucked his huge, hot cock dry while he fingered me. I wish we fucked, though. * Sex chamber in the basement of a house with 20 guys. In a sex swing I had every guy there fuck me. I love fucking. * Having my small penis humiliated while being fucked and played with. * A guy outdoors just bent me over and fucked me in the woods. * First time I was with a guy, I knew in the back of my head that he wanted me to come over to fool around, even though he ensured me that it would just be for a beer. He kept on asking me what I liked about gay porn and then put some on. We went to the bedroom to continue to watch the porn together. He asked me if I wanted to jerk off — I was hard and excited and nervous — so I did. Then he asked me if he could touch me. My heart was racing and I let him jerk my rock-hard dick. I told him to pull his out and I started to kiss it and started to give my first blowjob. He spun me around so my dick was in his mouth and he started to explore my asshole with his finger. I had never been fingered, so I wasn't used to the pressure or the size of finger and there was no lube. I'd eaten a girl’s ass out and I have an ass fetish, so I started to rim him while he licked my hole. I was ready to burst when he went back to sucking my dick and so was he, so I bent over and let him shoot his cum on my asshole while I jerked out my load. * I was with a man and we were walking in the park looking for a quiet spot to have sex. We spotted a guy there obviously checking us out. My friend got the craziest idea: he told me to go off on my own and make a pass at the guy. If he responded, my friend instructed me to get on my knees and suck the stranger off until he came in my mouth. I held the guy’s cum in my mouth and returned to my friend, where he proceeded to fuck me in the mouth with his hard cock while my mouth was full of the stranger’s cum. When my friend came, I had loads of hot tasty cum running out of my mouth and down my front. We then shared a kiss, sharing both loads of cum. Yum. * Five men, me in the middle. * Sex with someone you love. * Walking into a bar, removing my clothes, kneeling down and sucking cocks. * Got fucked by a 500-pound man. * My first time when I went over to this bear's house. We talked a bit, watched some TV and started to make out. He was a really good kisser. When we got to the bedroom we were making out so passionately that we shook the room. He knew where all the buttons were. * I was blindfolded before they arrived. I was promised the first kiss and first cock in me would be my dates. After that it was anyone's guess. For the next hour I was fucked from one side of the bed to the other in a vast array of positions by my date and his friends. It was amazing! I still don't know who the other guys are. * Went home with two brothers. * When I was a teen and had my first oral sex with a friend of the family. We played strip poker and later played under the blanket while watching a movie. * Met a guy at three in the morning on a golf course in a rainstorm. Got chased away naked by ranger at six. Hell of a three hours, though, best round of golf I ever had. * His touch was electric and really turned me on — lost touch with reality. *Me, a co-worker and his boyfriend. I'm six foot two, and these guys are two hobbit-sized homos built like tanks — cute and hot to the extreme. It was a big suckfest in their bed; it had been a while leading up to it, me giving my co-worker rides home all the time and eventually revealing that I liked dudes by way of Jake Gyllenhaal praise. My co-worker surprise-rimmed me during all the slurping, and it ended with me face-fucking him against the head of his bed while his boyfriend finished him off. * I can't — it's so specific the person will read it and know, and I never got their permission to tell. * Unexpectedly had mutual oral with a delivery man in his van the other day. Forgot how hot semi-public sex can be, especially when it comes from out of the blue. * Making out with my partner at a bathhouse and we went back to the room, and what I did not know was that he had raised the blinds while we were making out, and then fucking each other and having a crowd watching us and then seeing a few guys shoot their loads while watching us.
Location, location, location
Some may enjoy it, some may bemoan it, but the internet has changed the way we meet, cruise, love and fuck. Almost 65%
of respondents most frequently meet sexual partners online, including 46%
who met their most lasting long-term relationship there. To demonstrate the gap, more than 48%
enjoy online cruising most; bathhouse cruising comes next, at 16%
. For meeting long-term relationships, a quarter of guys say scouting social gatherings is the second most successful approach, with bars, at 13%
, in third. 53%
admit that the internet is where they spend the most time cruising without getting any action.
The most satisfying relational connections did not happen in overt gay environments. The hottest sex hookups have been random public and in public sex areas. Occasional good luck online, but it's often a tedious sorting process. Bathhouses are defacto crack houses and meth dens. Not into hard drugs or drugged-out men. * I don't have a computer. * You should distinguish between cruising bars (like the Black Eagle) vs other regular bars with no backroom. * I'm leaning toward dance club lately since it's almost the same as online or randomly in public (minus the need for people to write ignorant things or send you weird ping-pong emails — I'm hoping for the more direct wink and drink buying); I just want to be about five pounds less for that to happen. * Years ago I used to cruise in my car (even brought a few guys home) but haven't done that for a long time. * I met my longest LTR at work. * Bathhouses always seem to be a disappointment.. * Met partner on Cruiseline on the phone.
But you can’t have sex on the internet. Oh wait — you can. 61%
have had sex on webcam or over Skype. Other popular arenas for sexual sparring are outdoors in a secluded spot (84%
), bathhouse romps (more than 63%)
and backroom boinking (51%
have had sex in front of an audience, which reinforces the claim that 49%
enjoy exhibitionism whenever they can. Unfortunately, only 7%
have joined the mile-high club, but about 13%
have had sex on public transit. Gives a whole new meaning to “Ride the Rocket.”
The audience wasn't huge. It was just my best friend’s girlfriend who walked in on me and my ex and told us to continue while she used the phone. * By webcam/Skype I mean jerked off, not fucked another person on camera. Yet. * Gay movie theatres are good, ie, The Loft at Yonge and Gerrard. * Would love to sit by a hunky guy on an airplane and be covered under a blanket, fondling each other in first-class.
Would you could you in a car? Would you could you in a bar? Respondents do it everywhere, whether it’s exotic destinations, such as the beaches of Spain or the streets of Amsterdam, en route to various destinations and in a variety of vehicles, or just getting down in Canadian locales. There’s something wonderful about the fact that a respondent got fucked on a cannon in Waterloo Park or in a canoe on Lake Muskoka. So delightfully Canadian, eh?
On a beach in Mexico. * Threesome with two hot guys in a window in Amsterdam. * In the mountains of Idaho. * In the ocean off the coast of a Bahamian island. * Outdoors at the beach in Spain. * Metro in Paris. * On a watchtower overlooking the Bristol Channel — part of the walls of a 14th-century castle in Wales. * A deserted warehouse with a guy I met on the street in Florida. * On the front seats on the upper level of a double-decker bus in the UK. * In the staff basement room at the Eaton Centre. * Bushes at Hanlan's. * 401. * At fly nightclub in a closet. * At the centre of the maze on Toronto Island. * I would have to say in the stairwell at the CN Tower. * Outdoors on a busy street after the bar closed, on a snowy February night. * In a sling in the forest. I love camping. * Outside of a tent in a campground. * On the dock of a lake — in the middle of a city. * In the bushes at a public park in broad daylight. * Against a tree in a public park. * Was at a public park naked in the woods using a dildo on myself; this guy saw me, came over and I noticed a very large bulge in his pants. I bent over and he slid himself into me. * Outdoors, children's playground equipment provides a solid footing — swings or slides are great to be pounded up against. * At a bus stop on a bench. * Soccer field. * Cemetery. * Public bench behind an old folks' home. * Back of a dump truck at a construction site. * In the middle of the street. * Steam room at Goodlife. * The stairwell of a parking garage across the street from my workplace. Had a big goofy smile on my face returning from lunch hour. * Consul general's private rooftop terrace. * In front of a window of a penthouse (60th floor). * On someone's front porch during a party. * On a patio by a pool in full view of a neighbourhood street. * In a hot tub at a party with a group of guys. * In a room with a glass wall — at a bar — with patrons watching in. * My husband and I were in the back yard two summers ago working on our tans, and suddenly I got really horny and yanked his Speedo off and we 69ed in our back yard. I think the elderly couple behind was home; I know the two guys next door were — they applauded when we finished. * In a room with friends there but didn't know we were having sex. * In the basement workshop of a married friend, while his wife was upstairs. * In the Cellar in the TV room in front of others. * In a co-worker's cubicle during working hours. * On the floor at the place my boyfriend at the time and I worked. We finished, and I realized my boss was walking up the stairs. Heartstopping! * First was in the washroom stall at a fuckbuddy's office. We sucked each other and I fucked him as all his co-workers came and went. Secondly, I was studying at a library when this guy who was studying at another nearby table kept catching my eye. He went into the washroom, turning to look at me just before he went in. I promptly collected my books and proceeded to the toilet. We sucked each other off quickly before someone came in and nearly saw us. I've run into him one other time since then on the TTC, but alas, there was no time to slip into another washroom. * With three guys beside a river that ran beside a very busy highway — very unexpected. * The most unusual was probably in the back of a car while my ex-boyfriend was driving. * In a racing car. * Taxi cab with the driver. * In an army tank. * In the back row of a megabus going to Montreal. * On a plane with the flight attendant. Such a great fuck. * In a plane at 35,000 feet. * Airplane seat in the dark en route to Australia. * On the private rooftop terrace of a 40-storey building overlooking the city at night. * On an observation platform at a wildlife sanctuary. * On a swing outside at my neighbour's cottage at 3am. * Under the Christmas tree. * On a late-night bus. * A laundry mat. * Friend's sibling's room. * Fucking a dad in his son's room. * On the catwalk over the high-school stage. * In an empty classroom in high school. * Back of a tinted windowed van in schoolyard during school hours. * In an outhouse. * Team locker room. * Teacher's lounge at night with a school janitor. * Have had sex in a church confessional. * In the confessional at church with an altarboy.
The ins and outs, ups and downs, of cybercruising
The best online hookups, respondents say, involve couples or men who turn out to be — surprise! — the same as advertised. Those resulting in long-term relationships, or at least regular fuckbuds, are considered very successful. Eighteen-year-olds and married men are also popular.
Went to his house and he had a monster cock. * Talked for a while — we were more looking for a relationship — took some time to earn trust, eventually met and hurriedly had amazing sex and began a monogamous relationship (hastily). * Have had a few. Mostly with older, out guys who are not into long, tedious crap online. * He arrived in two minutes. * All. * Unexpected, incredible, kinky, perverted sex. * My best hookups have NOT been generated on-line. * Arranged to meet at his place. He was in his bed naked and ready; I just kissed him a bit and slipped right in. * A nine-inch cock that ended up in a gangbang orgy. * He lied about his age online and said he was younger than he actually was. Which is fine by me because I love older guys. * Used and abused by a very sexy, scruffy dom top with watersports (all firsts). * Every online hookup has resulted in us making really great friends. * Extremely hot guy. Turned out to be a model with a massive cock. And he knew how to use it. * A couple in a small town I was working in. They were awesome, adventurous, uninhibited and having fun with each other and me. I've been back three times. * Got a kid that just turned 18 that night at midnight, ready to go and went all night. * After chatting, we met up in the park near our respective homes at five in the morning. I was high and drunk and ignored that I wasn't attracted to him at all and had his fat dick piss all over me while I was wearing briefs and a tank top. Damn, I should text him. * Guy looked like his photo! And acted the same on and offline. * Have not had one yet. * He was slightly older, gave me his address (close to my work) and told me that once I got to the street I should call and ask for instructions. When I called he told me he wanted to do things "a little differently" and told me to get into his house and find a blindfold and poppers on the dinner table. He then told me to proceed to the living room, take off all my clothes, put on the blindfold and go all fours in the middle of the room. He told me to place the poppers beside me, open my mouth and wait a few minutes. I obviously got the fuck of my life from both ends once he got downstairs. * Ended up being a 14-hour nonstop session with a virgin. * Met him online then went to his place. He dressed me in his wife’s undies and fucked me silly all night. I’ve seen him once a week for five years now. * Pair of daddies on Squirt. * I went over to a guy’s house who lived near me, and when we started to fool around he lifted me up while kissing and brought me down two flights of stairs to his bedroom. * Claimed nine inches. Had 10. * Dude visiting from LA, super nice guy, beefy, hairy, perfect cock, took good care of me and was respectful. * He is now my slave. * Ginger PNP hookup. * Muscle straight boy who was curious about men. * The time I met up with an FTM. Most interesting sex I have ever had. Hooking up with a business man on his lunch break; he was in a suit and tie. Kept the suit on, pulled his dick out and fucked me and went back to work. * "Straight" guy tore my clothes off and looked like he was going to rape me but lovingly kissed me and sucked my cock. * Would have been a keeper were it not for the colossal Sex and the City
poster on his wall. Damn. * Ordering in a beefy Mexican boy with a dirty mind. * Went to meet one guy for a good dicking. His roommate came home and we had an unexpected three-way. * A relative who I did not know was gay and he did not know I was. * Have not hooked up online, only window shopped. * I arrived at his place and we immediately fell onto the bed, where I proceeded to lick everything. I left after he came on my face and spent the rest of the afternoon at work smelling his ass and spunk in my beard. * A well-hung muscular top. * I went over to the guy's place. We had some drinks, stripped down and jumped in his hot tub. We made out and played with each other for a while and then we went inside and he ate my ass for half an hour. He fucked me with his tongue. It was awesome. * An ex-boyfriend that I hadn't seen in a few years. It was good to get him back (retributively, that is). * Met a promiscuous furry gentleman in a chatroom. Hosted at my place when he came into town. Bottomed for the first time. * Met a guy on Ashley Madison who was six foot four and muscular. Married with a 8.5-inch dick. He loved to kiss. I worshipped his feet and cock, and I had the best fuck of my life with any guy. We still meet two or three times a year and we have gotten very inventive. His wife never suspects a thing. * Meeting a man in the middle of the night. He was naked on a bed waiting for me in a darkened house on the third floor. Found him naked, by candlelight and had hot passionate sex with him. * We met and he fucked me hard. * My friend, whom I suck a lot. * Met three guys at once. * Met an American from the West Coast, agreed to meet halfway and spend a weekend with him in bed in Chicago. * No computer and don't know how to use one anyway. * Muscular/tattooed internet pornstar. He was amazing! * Asian young guy. His place. Amazing ass. * Sexy, older, slightly hairy guy at my place. He was good at just about everything. * Guys who want a repeat. * 25-year-old, six foot three, white bottom with a 9-inch cock and a bubble butt, and he was exactly as I pictured him and was a total power-bottom. * The best one I've had was with an MTF escort. It was my first time. I was so nervous, but that all went away once she took off her bra. *An 18-year-old college student home for the holidays. He was into older, and we spent two days totally naked and enjoying each other. * The one who then stayed for eight hours afterwards and eventually became my boyfriend. * 11-inch cock while visiting in Ottawa. * Best was this nice, slim Asian boy. So friendly and charming. We met up several times. * Guy 30 years younger than myself. * Threesome with a married couple at their home. * Dominant master who made me his sub. * Fuck fuck fuck. * A straight guy came over and I sucked him off. * We spent a weekend together in a condo at a ski resort and sparks flew. * Began as chatting with guy who was then 20. Progressed to him showing me his cock on cam then masturbating on cam and phone. I visited his apartment and gave him his first blowjob — he exploded over his own face. Have been seeing him regularly for the past five years. * Met a guy with an eight-inch cock and we had sex in the back of my van in a park. He was up for pretty much anything and proved it. * Was travelling for work and posted online for some young stud to come over, I would leave the door ajar, he was to walk in and strip immediately. The guy agreed and came over. It was really hot and he stayed for four hours. We played in every room in the suite, including in front of both the interior window that opened to the atrium and the window to the outside so people could see. * I will be there in five minutes. * Met a guy online from Kingston. What a complete gentleman. And caring too. Couldn’t have asked for a better hookup in my life. * On Skype with a dude from Chile. He told me he just found out he was HIV-positive. We kept on chatting on MSN with video, and wow, what a perfect cock. When he started asking for money, I dropped him on the video, but we still keep in contact on Facebook. * I’ve met up with this one guy about seven times now, and the one time I was stoned and drunk. He was using his tongue on me one day and made me literally stop breathing. On my balls, under my balls, my ass, my cock. I got so into it that without warning I just grabbed his head when I was laying on the couch and fucked my load down his throat hard. * Tall, married man with two kids. Big, veiny, eight-inch cock with mushroom head, wore a big silver cockring. Very assertive but passionate. Shot his load in my ass. * The guy looked way better in person than his photos showed, and his cock was bigger than he said. He also knew how to work my ass over — was one of the best ass fucks I have ever had. * He loved to fuck and had a six-inch cock that came three times in three hours. His ass was great; as I slid my cock in, it was hot and wet, and it was the best fuck I ever had. * They've all been good. * An 18-year-old guy that was well built, nicely hairy and a nice guy to chat with and meet. * Two top partners used me as their bottom for a few years. * Invited to a sex party in my home town. I arrived a bit late; they had started without me. Guys were already fucking. I stripped off my clothes and dived in. * My current boyfriend. * A guy I ended up dating for two years. Immediate chemistry, amazing sex. * Chat online for days, then he shows up looking even better than I expected. * We had sex during a thunderstorm (inside). * Hot construction worker. * Went to his place out in the country. Was a beautiful home. Had a big bay window in the bedroom facing east. Was an early-morning hookup. So it was great having him fucking me as the sun was rising and shining into the room. * Met online, talked for a few days to get a feel for each other, went to his place and did it for hours. Afterwards really got to talking and is now my boyfriend. * An RCMP officer. * Hot and heavy make-out, hot fucking and then a nice facial. * Met a really hot Asian guy that could fuck for hours. Perfect cock. Perfect ass. Used each other for hours with no limits and no strings attached. * Hot black dude with a big cock and a six-pack. * They are so rare in Toronto. * Met an older hairy muscular man with a 9-inch uncut cock. He was 36 and five foot seven; I was five foot nine and 24. We met at his place and made out. Very good kisser. Very passionate, very intense love-making. Deep-throated his huge cock and him begging to fuck me. He fucked me like an animal all over the place. Heavy breathing and both of us drenched in sweat. It was incredible. * Met a guy online. After talking for a long time (a year) we finally met in person and we got along really well and eventually we got married. He's the guy I am currently married to and have been for three years. * Met a guy who was a vers bottom — fucked me like there was no tomorrow. Wasn't expecting that. Oh, and he lied about his dick size — definitely larger than average. * Hey! — Sup? — Hot! — You too — Host? — Yeah — into? — kissing, oral, rimming, anal. Vers. You? — Same. Do groups? — How many? — My waterpolo team — Bring it! — Yup * Anonymous cum-dump: when I got there were already three guys taking turns on the bottom.
Of course, many online hookups do not work out well.The most common complaint was that people aren’t accurate in their descriptions. Age was the most cited discrepancy, with dick size — whether smaller or larger than claimed — the second. The second most common complaint was no-shows. Third place goes to “none.”
I was 17. The dude had crabs. It happens to everyone at least once. Don't judge. * Met a guy who was really nice. Hung out for a bit. Went back to my place. Then BAM, bacne. Lots of bacne. * All of them. * He was older than my parents. I didn't want to do anything but did because I felt obligated. It was kind of disgusting. * Too many. Bad breath, poor hygiene, pics that did not match what I encountered, being sent on a wild goose chase to an address where a straight family were, etc. Online is fucking shit. * Closeted guy showed up all paranoid. It was annoying having to dodge everyone we passed by. * No-show. * Guy lied about only having a three-inch cock. * Abusive and had to kick him out. Scariest moment of my sexual life. * Guys who smoke or smell. * An escort. * Met a married guy who chickened out after we got naked. * Was my next-door neighbour and he couldn't suck dick if his life depended on it. The sad thing is he isn't bad-looking. * The guy who committed online photo fraud (wasn't who he was from his pics), and when I refused, offered me money to have sex with him. What a charmer. * He stole my money and wallet and then bought Ralph Lauren with my credit card. * This guy who looked so upstanding and presentable online. Once I got to his place, he pulled out an enema and drugs. I quickly excused myself and hurried back home. * Met a guy and couldn't get it up — neither of us. * Some really bad hair and girly underwear was involved. * When I wanted to suck. Tops don't suck? * A drunk guy with a very smelly penis. I could not give oral and he got mad at me. I asked him to leave. Ewww, why don’t some guys wash their cocks? * Old creepy guy who paid me to be his house slave for a day. * Guy sounded extremely hot but he showed up unshaven, in a ripped and soiled T-shirt. When he stripped, his underwear were so old and soiled, I had to send him home. Seriously, presentation is half the packaging. * One guy arranged to meet outdoors. When I got to the park area he had arranged to meet several others at the same time. No one was amused. * He was the creepiest guy I've ever met. Worse yet, I finally got into it and then learned that if you so much as held his cock for more than a minute, he would squirt spontaneously, he's that sensitive. So it was a hookup of "Whoa let go, I don't wanna cum.” It's hard to get off on that, I find. Really nice cock, though, thick and veiny. Shame. * Went to meet a guy and spent hours just chatting and cuddling. It was boring. * He was much heavier than in his photo. He was wasted. He left after 10 minutes. I went to bed and swore off online hookups forever (until the next week). * When his pictures don't match what he actually looks like because they're outdated by over a year. Has happened more than once to me. I walk in, see what they really look like, and leave. * None yet. * Met this guy who was "masculine" online, but he ended up being a giant queen. And really fat. * Fat, ugly, hairy. * Meeting pushy people who won’t take no for an answer. * Repulsive liar. * He had to do poppers to have sex. Big turnoff. * He insisted on having the lights off and went for a smoke after — even though he said he didn't smoke. Told me I was great in bed, but he was awful. * Hysteric dudes that take forever. * An old man who lied about his age. When he came over, he smelled like he bathed in cigarette juice and moth balls. I came early just to make him leave. * Asshole. * Used fake pics; he actually had a small dick. * Met this guy who said he worked out five times a week. When we met he had a huge beer gut and a shirt filled with stains and he wasn’t close to the age he said he was. * Guy with an uncut cock with a real tight foreskin. * Porn.* Twinky boy came over, fucked him, he didn't clean out properly. I wanted to puke. * No-shows, doors shut in my face. * I travelled a fair distance to find out this couple was considerably older than advertised. They kicked another guy out when I arrived. Harsh! One half of the couple never got it up and the other was dominant but slobbery. I gave them half an hour before slinking home in the rain and kinda pretending it never happened. * In person he had the worst teeth. * Went out of town to meet him. He didn't show and his address did not exist. * Guy was weird. That's all I'll say. I left. * Not something I wanna relive. * A young married man who was curious, but when he showed up at my place decided he couldn't go through with experimenting at all. * Someone who became an online and cellphone stalker after playing together a few times. The freak even camped outside my building once for three hours. Creepy. * Middle-aged man came to my house for a blowjob. He was larger than he said, had a sweaty urine smell, was a bit rude and after cumming said, “Next time don’t wear cologne; I am allergic to it.” Not even a thank-you for the blowjob. * Guy just lying there making no sound. I lost my erection. * Topping a guy and when I pulled out, he shit. * Met this guy with a tiny dick who blew his load before I touched his dick. * Told me he was a skinny 25-year-old but was a fat 55-year-old. * He came in my mouth after two minutes with no warning. * Guy said he was 25, toned, above-average cock, six foot three and smooth. Only thing that was true was that his cock was a decent size. * A guy who said he was average build and when we met at a coffee shop he was fat and bald. When I said, "No thanks," he started yelling at me in the parking lot. * Guy came over and his balls were crawling in crabs. * A weird guy in Woodstock. Tried to get me to pee into his mouth while we were in his bedroom. I couldn't do it. He also wanted me to bareback him. His little dog was also very interested in what we were doing. He kept asking for a repeat. I had to block him. * Cum and go in under five minutes. * He was a virgin and had no idea what to do. * Arrogant American who started bragging about the USA. * Went to his place and he decided we couldn't do it in his apartment. Went to a dirty stairwell, where he just jerked off while I was standing there. * Guys that just want to fuck one time. * Someone doing PNP. * 40-year-old man, less-than-average looks and body. Big cock though. He was very interested in meeting with me. I reluctantly agreed. Invited him over to my place. He brought liquor with him and he walked through my house like he lived there. What really made me uncomfortable was him asking, "Do you love me?" while he was fucking me. The whole experience made my skin crawl. * Met a guy who seemed cute online but was really nerdy in person. He said he knew a good place to go and took me to the hospital where he worked, and we hooked up in his office, which didn't lock and had people walking by making noise constantly. It was very distracting. * Pity sex with a guy who was overweight and had bad BO. * Any time the guy has used a fake picture. Abort. * He was fat — I mean Biggest Loser
fat. However, he turned out to be really nice, and I felt so bad I let him blow me in a parking lot. The blowjob was actually pretty good and he swallowed. * A guy posted pics of his son.
Solo masturbation is the sexual act that 96%
of respondents do every chance they get (only .6%
don’t enjoy it; 1%
have yet to try it but want to). Following closely is giving oral sex (92%
), which is more popular than receiving by .2%
. Contradicting other survey findings, and many of the comments, 70%
are anal-sex tops whenever possible, while only 67%
want to bottom.
Respondents are generally vanilla, with a consistent 75%
or more not interested in anything kinkier than oral and anal (except for dominating in bondage, which 45%
want to try). Once again, scat is particularly unpopular, and cuddling is the only thing other than solo masturbation that very few (8%
) don’t enjoy.
Armpit licking is hot. It's one of the biggest turn-ons among gay men. You guys miss it every year. * I had to Google “sounding” and “sploshing” to learn what those terms are. Sounding terrifies me. * Docking is fun. * Even though I don't know what some of them are, they sound so disgusting that I already know I wouldn't want to try them. * I have learned things that I've never done and never want to do from this section.
The sex act that is most frequent is solo masturbation, but being an anal bottom is the favourite act (which explains why being the receiving party in a gangbang is the most frequent fantasy — as it has been in all previous surveys). Being the bottom in anal sex is also the fantasy most masturbated to, and it’s the act most prefer to watch in porn. However, 8%
insist they will never be penetrated again, and 17%
will do it only for love. Only 5%
would receive watersports for love, but 9%
would do it for money. Receiving scat was the sexual act the most respondents (39%
) insist they will never do, while being fisted, at 26%
, is the most frightening sexual activity.
I would do almost anything for someone I love. * I’m open-minded and love to try things and have fun but just stick that cock up my ass. * I've tried a lot of
things I never would have done a few years ago. Maybe your inhibitions decrease as you get older? * I think it's obvious that the person I most like to have sex with is myself. It just gets boring and annoying when other people are involved. * Aren't we lacking a bit of vanilla — like flip/flop?
PAs aren’t a girl’s best friend
of respondents have a pierced ear and 23%
a pierced nipple, but tongues, eyebrows, bellybuttons, perineums, cockheads and cock shafts all register fewer than 7%
of respondents. 38%
wish they had the nerve to have their cock heads pierced, although 79%
admit they’d be too afraid. 42%
would like to have a pierced nipple, and 60%
would not sleep with a man who has a pierced cock head, even though 34%
find PAs a turn-on.
Jewellery doesn't really do anything for me. * Not that into piercings. * I have snake bites. * Piercings are superfluous. * Really don't like piercings at all. But an ear or a nipple is okay if the guy really wants that. * I have no desire to be pierced but admire a guy who's gutsy enough to do it. * I have my septum pierced. * Not particularly into piercings but not repulsed by them either. * I have an absolute fear of needles, and guys with gigantic plugs makes me sick to my stomach. * Not interested in metal. * You left out pierced lip. Huge turn-on.
Improvement: self and societal
Respondents think other gay men should have more sex and stop being hung up about it. “Be honest” was the top suggestion, with being open and playing safe also mentioned repeatedly. For every comment about not being judgmental or picky there was one about working out or improving one’s appearance — respondents appear to be open-minded, except when their own preferences aren’t met.
Let go of all the worries about how you're doing, or how you're being judged. * Try new things, explore a fetish here and there with a guy you trust. You could discover new things you like. That can help spice up the plain old vanilla stuff. * Instead of judging by job and looks, look inside the person to see the real man. I have had many good lays by men who don't look like a Remington’s dancer. * Don't be afraid to try something new — piss on the next guy you bring home. * Love older guys. * Have better standards. * Be honest with self and partners, take some emotional risks, develop your communication skills, work to overcome the homophobia that wounded us all as kids, treat other men with respect. Don't be an asshole. * Have it more. * Take over condo boards. * Better sense of humour in bed. * Be less flamboyant. * Be more tolerant. * Soap and water. * Don't buy into the porn myths. * Having a sense of humour and don't be such a prude. * Be honest and upfront about who you are and what you want. If you don't ask, you never get. * Stop looking for perfection; go with passion. * By curbing their bitchiness. * By not being such exhibitionists in public. Displays should be behind closed doors — similar to straights. * Be open, out and proud. * Stop being complicated, get rid of the attitude and just get down to it. * Try a little passion and romance rather than just doing it to get off. * Don’t charge as much. * Quit the shame. * Include me in it. * By actually talking to one another! How many times have we all been in a gay bar where everyone is just standing around, only talking to their friends and giving one another the stare-down? If you see someone you like, go up and say hi. That's what bars are for. * Have more of it and be open to the idea that sex does not have to equal love. You can have sex without the notion that romantic love be involved. However, also accepting the connected idea that sex can be very fulfilling when it does involve romantic love. Sex can be good with anybody but special with the one you love. But that doesn't imply that sex with others has to stop. *Be more open and honest and not so slutty. * Lose some weight. * Gays could improve their sex lives if they quit being so hung up on age, race, body hair, etc. I have found men of all demographics to be sexy. If more gays thought like me, it would be waaayyyy easier to hook up a threesome. Hot. * Bigger cock. * Condoms! Condoms! Condoms! Condoms! * Sleep with more men. * Communication and not be sluts. * By not being so pretentious at bars and actually talk to people instead of being little bitches. * Fewer hookups and more meaningful, long-term relationships. * Confidence, good hygiene and grooming practices, not being creepy, not offering drugs to people you don't know. * Weren't so caught up in their vanity, egos and the whole song-and-dance of seduction. Just tell someone what you want and fucking do it, don't be such a twat. * Less HIV stigma. * Monogamy. LOL, kidding. Less focus on appearance and being a pretty boy (rampant stereotyping, fuck yeah), more emphasis on sexual prowess. * Go to bathhouses more often. * Build more intimate connections with sexual partners. * Form a closed group and stick to it so they can gangbang bareback all the time. *
The most frequent response to what was needed to improve respondents’ sex lives was “more.” There were also lots of descriptions of the perfect man who would make it all worthwhile. Many respondents wish their relationships were open, that Toronto had more tops, that they had more time or could lose weight, be younger or have larger cocks. Respondents wished for more self-confidence, which ties in with the previous suggestion that gay men be less rigid in what they expect. There appears to be a dominant assumption that a long-term relationship leads to a better sex life, despite responses that suggest those in long-term relationships want more experimentation: “a steady boyfriend” versus “being single and able to visit a bathhouse.”
An open relationship. * A hot, brilliant, beautiful, hilarious boyfriend with an amazing smile. * Being more proactive and positive about potential mates. * More gangbangs. * Healing my arthritic knees. * A open-minded kinky person. * Trusting a steady fuck-buddy. * Viagra. * A condo that would allow naked hot tubbing. * More young people online. Pay them if you have to. * Relationship with a young Asian man. * Courage. * Have my boyfriend living in the same city as me. *A nose job. A deviated septum does not help the oral cause. * If more men kissed. * Watch less porn. * People who would learn to suck dick like I do. I love cock and just wish that boys could have classes to learn how to suck dick. Maybe demonstrations. They have a store on Harbord called "Good for Her" — what about "Good for Him" or "Get Him Off.” Just a suggestion. * Not doing this survey would sure improve it. * Learning to bottom (be versatile). * Moving out of Peterborough. * Being friends with several couples that we have sex with. * If more men were tops. There's like seven in all of Canada. * Harder erections. * A higher bed. * A quick no-BS STD test you carry in your pocket. * Be honest with myself and divorce my wife. * Meeting a sane, unattached, successful, outgoing, tall, hunky, dark-haired, blue-eyed, uncut man in his 40s who is loyal, drug- and alcohol-free, capable of monogamy and commitment — and totally into me. * Quitting my job. * If I moved back to a big city. Toronto, LA or Vienna. * Finding guys who just like to provide oral. * Be 40 again. * Less hooking up and finding a more long-term partner. * Less pot smoking. * If everyone would just leave me alone. * Lasting longer before I cum. * If I could get paid to fuck. *Being more receptive to the men around me. * Become more bold and maybe try some GHB at the cellar. *A body transplant. * If I were a little less bound by the last remnants of my old Catholic shame. * More lube. *
fab's Gay Sex Survey results Part I
fab's Gay Sex Survey results Part II
fab's Gay Sex Survey results Part III